the state of me

Check, saw XXX. Check, got my hair cut and colored. Check, am getting a massage tomorow at 11.

Yesterday I had to get a check up so my surgeon would know for sure that my heart and lungs are A-OK for my surgery. And they are. Because I was so back and forth though, on having the surgery at all, when I made the appointment I said I'd see anyone who had time before the 26th. And that someone was Dr. Hegde. I guess you grow up, and you see doctors you don't really think of them as your peers. Because they're not. They're your parents' peers. One anesthesiologist I had, Dr. Valentine, was really cute. And my surgeon when I was eight, Dr. Weidel, looked like Robert Redford, I swear. But I think my mom was more smitten than I was. Yesterday though, when Dr. Hegde walked in I first thought, wow, he's so cute. Nice wire-framed glasses, nice wardrobe, excellent hair, all-around nice guy. And because he's a resident I figure he's about my age. And I looked at his ring finger--no ring. He was kind of funny, because he seemed very eager to cover all the bases so he sent me for an EKG and a chest X-ray. I went along because I felt like I'd be bursting his bubble if I tried to shrug them off.

Then, after this appointment, I went to the salon to get my hair done. I get it colored using foils which takes a while so usually, midway through the blow-dry and style I have completely lost all my patience. Hairdressers so uber-dry your hair. Brush, dry, brush, dry, brush, dry. My personal routine is shampoo and condition, brush it out, run some gel through, dry my hair with my head upside down until it's basically dry and that's it. All I could think of, right there at the end, was leaping out of the chair, saying, "Good enough!" and leaving. And I never even really like the haircut until a week after. At least this time I wasn't at an Aveda salon where all their hair products smell like lawn care products and I can't get the smell of dirt and grass out of my hair for two showers.

But here's the good part of the hair appointment--I went to the salon in my gym, so afterwards I went to their sandwich counter to get something to take home for dinner. This guy, Adam, was there working. Now, let me fill you in on the very brief history between Adam and me. Last spring I saw him a lot and I thought maybe, we were slightly, a bit flirty. But then one day I said something that made it obvious I did not live in the fancy shmancy apartments across the street from my gym and that same day, after that comment, either Adam got very busy or his boss told him to get busy. To this day, I don't know which it was. That's sort of the last time I saw him until yesterday and I also decided that he only acted interested in me because he thought I was rich and when he found out I am most likely on the same financial level as he is, decided to be flirty with some other chick. When I saw him working the counter yesterday I didn't even take much notice of him, wasn't even going to talk to him. But he asked me where I've been, said he hadn't seen me for a while. I said I was outf town a lot this summer, which is sort of true, but who wants to hear, well, I didn't have Enbrel for months and felt like crap so going to the gym was the last thing possible. Then he said he saw me go in to Starbucks yesterday but he couldn't remember my name (I think that's what he said was his reason was) so he didn't call to me. I said I was probably out of it because that would have been my first coffee of the day. By that point I was done ordering and paying so I moved down the counter--yes! to see what he would do--and after taking a few more orders he did come down and talked to me some more. He asked me where I went this summer. I said home, nothing spectacular. He asked where home is, I said Ithaca, and he said, oh yeah, we talked about this before, which I don't think we did. He said he spent his summers in Buffalo and from then on we talked about the difference in winters between Ithaca and Buffalo. And while we were talking about this subject of weather I realized how friggin' boring a conversation topic it was but I was also so distracted by how cute he is and how I wanted to say, so where do you live? What do you do for fun? Do you want to do something sometime? Go out with my friends and me?

But of course, I'm having surgery Monday and feel like crap again because I can't take my Enbrel again because it suppresses part of the immune system and I have to stop it so I don't get infections so easily. So it would be more like, hey, do you want to do something in October? That's smooth, eh? And what if I'm wrong about the whole flirty thing? I can't read men. They're impossible.

But he's just so cute and nice, and when we were talking, even about the weather, he seemed so genuine. And if there's one thing that's incredibly attractive and sexy, it's being genuine.

posted by Alissa @ 6:18 PM